WSTS Picaroon Platters Goes To The Movies! Part II
(available at the end of this article)
If you've read a magazine recently then CONGRATULATIONS you're still living in the 20th century. But the rest of you more tech-savvy, web-trawling folk will no doubt have come across an online article recently with the industry-shaking news that Trent "Nine Inches" Reznor and his musical AI programme 'Atticus Ross' have signed a deal with the heads of the five Hollywood families that essentially will see them compose the soundtrack to any and every film in production from now until 2041, or until the planet is no longer able to sustain human life - whichever comes soonest.
"Yeah," Trent Reznor explained. "Yeah."
The heads of the five Hollywood families, from left to right: don Bobby Chapstick of the Disney family; don "Jazzy" Jeff Shell, Universal Pictures; the Warner Brothers and their consigliere Andy Sawnoff; "Two-Tone" Tony Vinciquerra representing the Columbians on behalf of Sony; and Paramount rappresentante Jimmy Gianopulent.
Trent Reznor originally made a name for himself by being a professional Marilyn Manson impersonator at Disneyland, Paris, where scores of European children would flock to his twice daily-performed 'Antichrist Superstar' show-spectacular. Catching the eye of talent scout Fred Durst, Reznor soon found himself producing albums under the moniker Neil Inn Chains. His debut effort, Pretty Hot Marine, reached number 15 in the charts and tracks from the album were used in all sorts of media, from TV commercials to NBC sitcoms.
It would only be a matter of time before Hollywood came calling, and Reznor was quickly signed on to compose the soundtracks to two of David Fincher's movies: 'You Gone, Girl' and 'Facebook! The Musical.' Finding himself even more in demand after critical acclaim sent both his soundtracks into the stratosphere, Reznor created 'Atticus Ross' in order to assist him.
"Yeah," Trent Reznor said in a 2012 interview with MS DOS Game-A-GoGo Magazine. "Yeah."
More recently, Reznor & Ross' score for Pixel Studio's jazz-fish movie 'Sole' was a huge hit, winning every award possible, including the much coveted "Every Award" Award at the 2021 Every Award awards, proving to be both a success with the public as well as with critics, and Hollywood producers obviously keen to capitalise on their popularity.
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
Wally Hood, a Hollywood PR executive, has confirmed that Trent & Atticus (or T&A as they are sometimes known) are already working on the soundtracks to 'The Return Of Howard The Duck,' Ridley Scott's Alien pre-sequel 'The Alien,' and Pixel's 'Hovercrafts,' which sees an alternate universe where hovercrafts are sentient beings living life just like humans do.
"We're very excited to see - or rather, hear - what Trent and Atticus will come up with over the next twenty years when they compose every soundtrack to every film being released," said Wally Hood. "I personally can't wait. I love T&A."
Trent Reznor's recording studio after the soundtrack for 'Sole' had been completed.
Not everyone in Hollywood was enthused, however.
"What's Steve (Spielberg) and Georgie (Lucas) going to say about this?" fumed Obi-Wan Kenobi lookalike and sometimes film score composer John Williams when asked for his opinion about the news. "They don't like any of that electronic nonsense. If they wanted that kind of soundtrack then they'd just get me to fall asleep on my keyboard and throw a cat on the mixing desk." Williams then snapped a Roland TB-303 in half and exclaimed "Grrrr, I hate electronic music!"
The news also came as a bit of shock to Hans Zimmer, who claims he had already been promised a lucrative 40-picture deal with Warner Bros. "It appears Warner are going back on a gentlemen's handshake," the titan of tunes lamented. "This won't do, no this won't do at all."
"I hate all of them," Zimmer continued. "ALL of them. Basically, any composer who isn't me. Trent Reznor, pfft. Junkie XL? What even is that? A name? Is that a name? I'd shit them all."
"I refuse to work with anyone else other than Hans," Christopher Nolan said whilst loading a Colt .45. "He makes even the most confusing of my movies cohesive in some way or another. Have you watched 'Tenet?' Of course you have. Did it make any sense? Of course it didn't. Did Hans Zimmer do the score for it? No he bloody well did not. And THAT'S the problem!"
Reports that Nolan and Zimmer have given out the order to "go to the mattresses" have not yet been substantiated.
"You know who I am? I'm Hans Fucking Zimmer! I made my bones working hard while Junkie XL was going out with cheerleaders!" Hans Zimmer pictured here with his stepson Christopher Nolan.
Other members of the soundtrack-creating business were more positive in their outlook.
"Personally, I think it's great," said James Newton Howard. "I can now explore other avenues of employment. I've always wanted to get hired as a specialist and help the LAPD solve murders in the music industry. Either that or be an astronaut. I'm fine either way."
Clint Mansell was more than enthused at the news. "Trent has given me a lot of drugs and support over the years," Clint said. "So many drugs. So much support."
And Danny Elfman, emerging from Tim Burton's dungeon two days ago, said "wait, what? What? Help, please god, please help me."
And it doesn't end there. In pure Lucasfilm fashion, movie executives are retroactively changing the soundtracks to their hit films to include Trent Reznor songs instead of their original scores. Peter Jackson has already confirmed that his King Kong remake will now feature The Hand That Feeds continuously on a loop throughout the 3+ hour running time, and Disney Pixel will be releasing Inside Out Redux early next year, featuring all of the tracks from The Downward Spiral as its soundtrack. "Riley & Bing Bong's childhood song is now March Of The Pigs," Inside Out co-Director Pete Docter said. "And all the characters think about suicide after getting addicted to heroin. It's the San Francisco movie I've always wanted to make."
"Yeah," Trent Reznor said. "Yeah."
"♫♬ Shove it up inside, surprise, lies, stains like the blood on your teeth, bite, chew, suck (away the tender parts)...♬♫"
WSTS Picaroon Platters Goes To The Movies! Part II
How dull it would be if all soundtracks sounded the same? One of the beautiful things that soundtracks can do is evoke the mood of a piece of film. Can you imagine the original Suspiria with an upbeat polka soundtrack? Or The Good, The Bad And The Ugly with a heavy metal soundtrack? Can you imagine if ALL soundtracks consisted of upbeat polka music or heavy metal? It would certainly make super hero movies more interesting but the negatives would certainly more than outweigh the positives.
Anyway, I thought this article would go nicely with my latest digital mixtape for the Ship to Shore PhonoCo. Mixcloud channel WSTS Picaroon Platters Radio. It's the next part to what I hope will be a long-going series of soundtrack selections, from famous (as well as infamous) tracks to some more obscure gems. A mixture of songs and music for all you delicious disciples of celluloid excellence out there, like the first Goes To The Movies mix, which you can read about here and listen to here.
"But what about this mix?" I somehow hear you ask. Well, I was getting to that. As usual, I'm just going to let the music speak for itself. If you'd like to know the tracklist, then I've included it below, but you might find the mix more rewarding going in blind, so to speak. And yes, before you ask, Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross are included.
You can listen to the mix for free here.
Alternatively, you can listen to the mix using the handy onscreen widget situated below this sentence, with the tracklist underneath that. God, the 21st century is AMAZING.
WSTS PICAROON PLATTERS GOES TO THE MOVIES! PART II
WSTS Picaroon Platters Radio
(compiled & mixed by Mark Anthony Finch)
Anton Karas featuring Orson Welles - The Cuckoo Clock (from The Third Man)
Damon Albarn & Michael Nyman - Boyd's Journey (from Ravenous)
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross featuring Karen O - Immigrant Song (from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo )
Angelo Badalamenti - Mulholland Drive (from Mulholland Drive)
John Phillips - Hello Mary-Lou (from The Man Who Fell To Earth)
Nouvelle Vague - Too Drunk To Fuck (used in Grindhouse: Planet Terror)
Piero Umiliani - Cinque Bambole (from Five Dolls For An August Moon)
Basil Poledouris - Atlantean Sword (from Conan The Barbarian )
John Barry - Main Theme (from Zulu)
Ennio Morricone - Joking Apart #2 (from Duck You Sucker! aka A Fistful Of Dynamite)
Fabio Frizzi - Main Title (Sequence 8) (from Zombi 2 aka Zombie; Zombie Flesh Eaters)
Badly Drawn Boy - River Sea Ocean (from About A Boy)
Marilyn Manson - Rock Is Dead (used in The Matrix)
Francis Monkman - Taken (from The Long Good Friday)
Pulp - Mile End (used in Trainspotting)
John Williams - The Clash Of Lightsabers (from The Empire Strikes Back)
Angelo Badalementi - Mr Roque / Betty's Theme (from Mulholland Drive)
John Carpenter & Alan Howarth - Pork Chop Express (from Big Trouble In Little China)
Chris DeMarco - Alive (from Troma's War)
The Bus Boys - Cleanin' Up The Town (from Ghostbusters )
Piero Umiliani - Fantoccio Grottesco (Parts 1, 2, 3) (from Five Dolls For An August Moon)
The Monkees - Circle Sky (from Head)
Deluxx Folk Implosion - Daddy Never Understood (from Kids)
The Carnegie Hall Jazz Band - Caravan (from Whiplash)
Anton Karas - Anna Walks Away / End Title - The Harry Lime Theme (from The Third Man)
Damon Albarn & Michael Nyman - End Titles (from Ravenous)
Dead Can Dance & Mark Isham - The Host Of Seraphim (Special Film Version) (from The Mist)
Angelo Badalementi - Dwarfland / Love Theme / Mulholland Drive (from Mulholland Drive)
- Mark Anthony Finch